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Got Skillz?

by on November 25, 2012

Stay with me here for a second, because this simile is going to need some time to ferment your mind grapes…

World of Warcraft is like hip-hop.

Fly gear, a hot ride, a fat bank account, none of these mean you have skills. Trust me, I have all of them, well, all but the skills.

I am power leveling a Monk in a mismatched, but nearly complete, set of heirlooms. No, it should not be difficult to heal low level dungeons when I, and nearly everyone I encounter in PUGs, am absurdly over-geared. But. But…

Just like every wannabe thug in the world, my fellow PUGers seem to think they all got skills. The mage who runs through Gnomeregan pulling everything in sight and leaving everyone else to clean up his mess (with dps numbers I could almost pull off as a healer if I wasn’t cleaning up his mess). The Pally tank who pulls two separate packs in Scarlet Halls without keeping threat on the first group and then wonders where his healz went when he dies.

Everybody is a big man when all the go-go-go goes well, and everyone talks shit when it all falls apart.

Taking someone else’s beat and grunting something catchy to the tune of a big payday is not the same as crafting an infectious beat and gracing it with insightful and witty colloquial prose. Being over-geared and blazing through a dungeon with your grill undulating on the keyboard is not the same as finding group synergy in pulls, heals, and damage that cuts through a dungeon like a surgeon’s blade.

I have no interest in dry-humping some drunken whore to the thumping bass of some flash-in-the-pan “artist” that disrespects the true skills of the rap game. I want to run dungeons with people who respect the game, regardless of gear.

I know many people have many alts, but some of us are learning classes for the first time. Run through these early, “easy”, dungeons too quickly, and then wonder why max level healers and tanks don’t seem to know what they’re doing. They don’t, jackass, you never let them learn.

It’s only a game.

5 Comments
  1. gougey permalink

    If you’re proud of your panda’s name you could have just said so instead of crafting an elaborate metaphor. Ya see, a pug is like a cake… no no… a pug is like a fine meal… uhh and the healer is the sous chef…

    • I originally posted Renegade by Jay-z ft. Eminem…the two most skilled rappers in the game, but I couldn’t help myself….Methodpan is an awesome name and you know it.

      • And also, dude, belaboring the English language to make vague and pointless observations is my pleasure. It’s my pleasure!

      • gougey permalink

        Obviously hip-hop, nay, POPULAR MUSIC ITSELF, reached perfection between 1992 and 2002. There is no coincidence that this is also the period of my adolescence and young adulthood.

  2. gougey permalink

    Ya know what reallyl grinds my gears? When the tank’s corpse asks “Where’s the healer?” Hmm… that would have been good to know BEFORE you pulled the whole room with no backup.

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