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You are the ones who are the ball lickers (or why I don’t roll melee)

by on November 5, 2012

You are the ones who are the ball lickers (or why I don't roll melee

I have been accused of playing World of Balance Druids. It would be World of Boomkins but there is the matter of 80 levels sans chicken. It could be World of Druids but healz is too much pressure and I don’t roll melee.

Sure, I’ve gone kitty from time to time and my second highest level alt is a 54 Warrior, but the former was something akin to putting up with a hot chick’s furry fandom thing and the latter is soon to be retired to the dustbin. The only alts I’ve had with staying power have been Hunters and I only use them for mindless slaughter of innocent creatures when I’m bored, i.e. when I’m the only member of the guild on and I’m too tired or intoxicated to be bothered with effort. To be clear, Hunters are for solo face-rolls with a mini-tank to eat crotch.

I have no interest in licking balls. Fastidious use of CC and DoTs and debuffs, as well as a good safe distance, or another sucker who is into that sort of thing, tada, no ball-licking.

Ya know what you get when there are no balls in your face? Scenery and a great view of the action.

Being ranged DPS is like being an NFL kicker, you are mostly useless and have the best seat in the house, when you’re decent no one notices you, when you’re good you will only be noticed occasionally (and if you are its probably because you’re a d-bag shamelessly posting recount), but when you screw up its hard to miss. I like those odds.

And I shamelessly screw up.

It’s just a game.

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6 Comments
  1. Patrick permalink

    I’m not afraid to fight — I just don’t want to walk to the fight.
    — Donegol, Discreetly Mogged Shaman

    • Stylie the Dwarf, testify!

      There’s too much walking in game as it is (blame Tolkein), and I damn sure don’t want to walk into a monster’s crotch.

  2. gougey permalink

    I’ve seen him play. That’s the face he makes while spamming Moonfire. Also, while cooking, mowing the lawn, etc. I’ll have to assume while chugging ass cock too.

    • I cannot comment on the veracity of your accusations.

      I will say that what happens behind closed doors on a webcam is between the performers and their paying customers.

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